Best Birthday Gift Ever

As a proud parent, I have to point out that my eleven-year-old programmed an online game in honor of my birthday. You play as a character in a long, red scarf, who looks suspiciously like yours truly at an academic conference in a European capital to the far north. To win the game you must dodge pumpkins flying from the air, although you are busy reading while taking evasive action. If you don't intercede with these projectiles quickly enough the splattered pumpkins get all over your papers.